"SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM, THE WAY YOU WOULD IF I RAVAGED YOUR MIND"

I'M SO BLOODY TIRED OF THIS HAPPENING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HOW MUCH MORE IS BEING HIDDEN FROM ME? HOW MUCH MORE WILL KEEP BEING REVEALED TO ME BEFORE I FINALLY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE? I'M SO BLOODY TIRED MENTALLY. I'M SO BLOODY TIRED EMOTIONALLY. HAHA. THINK I'M FINE? I'M NOT. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE, I'M ABOUT TO CAVE IN.

I NEED A DAMN BREAK. TALK TO ME ONLY IF YOU'RE GONNA HELP, AND DON'T BLAME ME IF I EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE IF YOU DON'T HELP, BECAUSE I'M GROUCHY. I'M GROUCHY EMOTIONALLY. I'M GROUCHY MENTALLY.

I'M LOSING TOO MANY THINGS. BUT THE THING I'M MOST AFRAID OF LOSING IS MY MIND AND MYSELF...

but at the same time i'll admit i'm weak and still falling, i need so much help, but i don't know what to do... i'm crying and i can't stop myself, i really need so much help now...
i want it to come back to me, so that i can protect it, and in turn get protected myself. but it doesn't want to come back to me...
HELP ME.