Thursday, April 30, 2009.
when all things that surround
becomes shadows in the light of You...
signing off
sam
Wednesday, April 29, 2009.
wow, i applied what i learnt in sch so fast. haha...
day today was alright, pretty normal.
nothing much to blog abt so i'll go off now,
bye!
signing off
sam
Tuesday, April 28, 2009.
hello, here to blog again.
lets summarise my day so far...
ear training in the morning. but may be shifted to 8.30 am after this. that's good. haha.
break after that. as usual nothing to do after eating -.-
IDEAS module after break. IDEO is a cool company to work with. lol.
maths followed, complex numbers are complex. hello, they aint even REAL. O.O
and gravity showed its concept. what goes up must come down. oh well.
other than that nothing much so far. sis is bombing me with science questions so i'll go off now. bye!
signing off
sam
Monday, April 27, 2009.
i wish my mac would stop checking my spelling errors! >=/
today has been relatively good, thank God for that. haha...
and i finally got my first piece of homework. lol.
off to do it now, bye!
signing off
sam
Sunday, April 26, 2009.
Lord,
I know that little pain that i went through
is so little
as compared to the one You suffered...
Lord,
remind me, Lord, everytime i complain about small things.
help me Lord.
be my strength.
signing off
sam
Joshua 1:1-9
Saturday, April 25, 2009.
99+emails.
that's a first O.O
anyway, prayer was painful, but good.
i guess really no pain no gain. haha...
signing off
sam
(P.S. SORRY NO SONG. IMEEM MADE MY SONG A 30 SECOND DEMO. UGH...)
Friday, April 24, 2009.
its a new morning,
and i pray that tonight will be a new start.
i'm gonna release all my hurts, all my pains,
finally,
for good, forever...
i'm going 2nd today.
yeah.
i'm looking forward to it...
i'm ready.
i'm ready to be set free.
signing off
sam
Thursday, April 23, 2009.
everything's a blur...
everything's a mess...
everything's speeding by
and there i am still staying at the same spot
somehow unable to move...
signing off
sam
she's dead... she's dead...
when you broke the news to me last night
i just broke down...
its too much for me to take...
too much for me to accept...
how can she be dead?
what happened to her?
i cant come to grips with it...
i still got so much to say to her...
but when it's all concluded, it can be shortened to 4 words...
"i still love you..."
why am i still hanging on?
i wanna let go, but my heart is holding on
even though its hurting
even though i'm begging myself to let go...
i somehow cant...
its not that i dont want to
i just simply cant... and i dont know why either...
where did you go?
"i wish i could be the one, the one who won't care at all... i know its hurting you, but its killing me..."
Wednesday, April 22, 2009.
face the facts boy,
face the reality...
bite it before it bites you...
signing off
sam
i'm staring at imaginary knives in my throat and in my heart.
.
today was fair.
finally used my laptop in sch for lesson
but only for a few mins. pfft.
oh well.
nothing really eventful...
so i'll leave off here.
but I HATE PEAK HOUR TRAFFIC -.-
and i hate stupid ppl who blame me for pushing
when its clearly not my fault.
who want to push you, bozo?
bad mood, diao me, nevermind.
dont blame me and KICK me. -.-
stupid childishness from an ADULT. ugh.
oh well. heck to her.
off to search for Michael Spicer on youtube. lol...
signing off
sam
Tuesday, April 21, 2009.
okay... i've calmed down, thank God for that...
from now on instead of just blocking it, i'll face it.
i'll face what it has to throw at me...
i'll brave through it...
Lord, please give me the strength to take it,
and to accept what i cannot change...
signing off
sam
and if its not enough, not enough, i'll try over and over again...
.
i've been thinking...
a lot...
suddenly its overwhelming.
its like its been storing up while i've been blocking it,
and it suddenly all comes flooding in at one shot
and i dont have the strength to block it anymore.
why? why did this suddenly start?
why must it be like that?
why dont you know? why cant you see?
i've done everything i could...
i've done my best even though it hurts
i've risked so much, but yet all i can do is lose...
oh God... help...
please...
help me keep my mind on You...
make all these bad things go away Daddy...
please... i'm begging...
signing off
sam
Daddy... I'm scared...
Monday, April 20, 2009.
i did all i could.
now,
just sit back and watch.
watch this, and see how it goes.
signing off
sam
.
will you follow me?
a melody, a memory, or just one picture.
i got a new motto: seize the day.
my hopes have fallen too many times.
so now, i'm going to try to be content with what i'm given
and just seize what i can.
well, at least i'll try.
signing off
sam
"so i never want to leave you, and the memories of us to see, i beg dont leave me..."
Sunday, April 19, 2009.
yes,
i understand what you mean,
and i feel how you feel.
trust me.
i know how it feels...
signing off
sam
now if only you knew
Saturday, April 18, 2009.
have i become so good at hiding
that i deceive even myself?
my gosh.
i dont know...
i'm confused all over again...
=/
signing off
sam
dear God... i need some help.
please...
Friday, April 17, 2009.
its like an artificial harmonic,
fake,
but sounds off well with the real note.
haha.
signing off
sam
now i know how little i rank to you.
Thursday, April 16, 2009.
the awesomest
best
flag day ever.
period. lol.
signing off
sam
Wednesday, April 15, 2009.
seize the day,
dont go away regretting the time you've lost
signing off
sam
Tuesday, April 14, 2009.
orientation orientation!
i wish they'd skip the not-so-important parts
that'd save us alot of hours. lol...
flag day on thursday, top collector gets new laptop sia O.o
second prize also quite awesome, its a cruise. haha...
so how about,
i just put in like, 500 dollars
and just win automatically,
and claim the 1000++ dollar laptop?
effectively, only paying 500 bucks for a laptop. haha...
oh well.
signing off
sam
.
BLOGGING FROM SCHOOL.
signing off
sam
Monday, April 13, 2009.
i thought by now
i'd have gotten used to it already...
but no...
not yet...
why?
i dont know neither.
that feeling of failure,
inadequacy,
fear of not being needed after...
i dont know... i dont know...
i'm scared...
signing off
sam
did you really mean it when you said that you dont know what you'd do without me?even just as a friend?
Sunday, April 12, 2009.
i confuse myself.
or am i just deceiving myself?
aye...
headache.
signing off
sam
.
no matter how gray the clouds are
no matter how stormy the seas,
i know You'll be there.
and i'll hang on to You...
i'm holding on to You forever
signing off
sam
Saturday, April 11, 2009.
its been a long time
since i've cried that hard out to You...
i'm sorry i've been away for so long,
help me get back to You...
thank You for taking away all the pain and hurt
and reminding me You love me.
remind me everyday from now on...
please...
cos it's really You that i cannot do without...
signing off
sam
Friday, April 10, 2009.
screw that last post.
everything just collapsed.
i feel the same way, you know?
i seriously feel the same way...
which makes it all the more painful.
i cant hide it,
i'm bleeding.
i'm wounded...
Wounded - Good Charlotte"Wounded"
Lost and broken,
Hopeless and lonely.
Smiling on the outside,
and hurt beneath my skin.
My eyes are fading,
My soul is bleeding.
I'll try to make it seem okay,
But my faith is wearing thin.
So help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open,
And I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
And I need someone to help me sew them up.
I only wanted a magazine,
I only wanted a movie screen,
I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed.
And now my mind is an open book,
And now my heart is an open wound,
And now my life is an open soul for all to see.
But help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open and I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
And I need someone to help me,
So you come along,
I push you away,
Then kick and scream for you to stay.
Cuz I need someone to help me,
Oh I need someone to help me,
To help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open,
And I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
And I need someone to help me sew them,
I need someone to help me fill them,
I need someone to help me close them up.
.
today went fine too, thank God for that.
spent most of today in church today.
my mind was kinda floating about
and i seemed kinda distracted i guess.
but i'm alright.
i hope that this'll continue on tomorrow.
signing off
sam
pls cheer up, alright? i'm staying strong for you, so please stay strong too.
Thursday, April 09, 2009.
its 8:05pm and i've been doing alright so far,
its rare these days that i get through a single day without feeling down
lets hope this lasts till i go to slp tonight...
and i'll just hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
signing off
sam
Wednesday, April 08, 2009.
re-write the story...how would it be?yet i aint the script writer,i've given that role to someone else.oh the drama,i hate it...i. hate. it.yet, it comes looking for me...misery loves company?yeah. agreed.but why come looking for me?stop throwing stones in the glass room that i'm in...signing offsam
we're so miserable, stunning...
love songs so genuinely cunning...
stop by this disaster town,
you'll put your eyes to the sun and say:
"I know you're only blinding to keep back what the clouds are hiding"
Tuesday, April 07, 2009.
hello! i'm back!
found out scholarship application got rejected.
shiz.
but oh well. we win some we lose some.
but right now i'm losing a lot...
okay off that topic,
trip was fun,
food at DP was horrible, but the beach was awesome.
manifestation = scary.
good trip overall, spent good time with cousins.
but i missed a lot of things in Singapore.
oh well, i'm back alr!
signing off
sam
with this chain you gave me, weighing down on my neck,
its choking me,
its making me turn blue, and making me turn green...
Wednesday, April 01, 2009.
up up and away,
i'll be gone,
1st to 8th!
haha. APRIL FOOL.
will be back on the 7th. lol.
okay i'm being lame here, haha...
so dont try to call!
byebye!
signing off
sam
i'm gonna miss you... take care, yeah? (:
