Monday, June 02, 2008.
dear blog...its been quite awhile since i updated. been busy and have been forgetting. but i have issues and i need to rant. excuse me this time...think i've gone off the thinking-too-much-for-your-own-good edge. is it just me or does everyone go through it? perry calls me semi emo. i think so too...recently an uncle from church that i've known since the FCBC days passed away. i've been thinking a lot since then. is this all to life? (i apologise if any of the family members are reading this. these are my personal thoughts)where do we start? dust. where do we end? you get burnt with your coffin, or get buried. where do we go in the end? back to the dust. at the start, we come in cold. we leave just the same. bummer, isnt it?what do we do in life? we grow. we make friends. we study (sigh...). we work. we earn money that we spend in the end. we retire, waiting for our time. is this all in life? all that life has to give?this earth is so cold. i dont mean the temperature, obviously. but everything is so empty... so void... there's a gap. there's a hole. so much more can be done. so much more is waiting to be done. in life, we have to study to work. why do we have to work? so we have money to survive. we spend the money on feeding ourselves, clothing ourselves, getting the stuff we need. but in the end, we die. we go back to the dust, without our belongings. what's the point then? where is the meaning in this? what's the point in doing whatever we do in our lives? indeed, this world is crying out for so much more...people are also becoming so sensitive. one little mistake, boom. there your friendship blows up in your face. you also have people trying to stab you in the back. sometimes right in the face. ever came across that? we gotta always set up false pretenses. we always gotta smile to confuse and throw people off. we always gotta joke or laugh, or people wont want to be with you, they'll think you're cold. what world is this? i'm not against those, but has all of the jokes and smiles and laughter become fake?oh God, i know You're listening. help me... help me understand...i dont know why i've been thinking so much blog. do other people do this? i guess i've been thinking too much. but really... what's life? that's all? your birth -> your growth -> your education -> your work -> your retirement -> your death. are we really all leading such empty lives?i guess its just me. everybody looks so happy. but no one can really tell what's on the inside, eh? me? haha, it depends... i'm beginning to feel i have 2 different faces one for this occasion, one for another. maybe more... y know what i mean? i'm different with the different people i hang out with... what's my true self?ah well. i've still got school tomorrow. and to think they named it the HOLIDAYS. irony, irony...will post again soon if i have any more lousy dont-make-sense and catch-no-ball thoughts.Sam.(but the beauty of grace is what it makes life not fair...)
